- Name: Lonnie Bruner
- Location: Washington, DC, United States
I live in DC, sail the Chesapeake Bay, have a lovely wife who's a web designer, a young son, an unruly hound dog, and am interested in most everything in the world. Oh yea, and I love the smell of burning trash in the Third World. That just gets me going.
- Got Towed, Drank, Danced a Little ...
- Hello? Anyone Up For a China Rant?
- Cat Shit Coffee
- My Secret Apartment
- Ok, I'll Play Some Guitar for You
- I'm pretty sure I just went to the best sushi rest...
- The Pinnacle of Sport Fishing: Catching a Blue Mar...
- Bars in India: Like 100 Years Ago in the USA
- Atlantic Rockfishing
- They Hauled My Next-Door Neighbor Away in an Ambul...
- July 2004
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Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Be George Bush in a Helicopter
(Click on the photo and move it).
One of the most annoying things on this earth is when you call someone's voice mail, and there's a long, drawn-out message like, "Hello. You have reached ________. I am currently away from my desk right now. At the tone, please ..." and then, to piss you the fuck off, they repeat the entire f'n message in Spanish.
It's Seinfeldian to say it, but do we really need instructions on what to do at the end of a voice mail message? And if a latino person calls and there is no message in Spanish, are they going to be completely dumbfounded and speechless if there's no translation?
This is a WTF to end all WTFs.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Slippery Little Phalus
"The circulator nurse had been quite close to the field, wanting to be one of the first people to witness the birth of the much talked about sex toy, so when the vibrator unexpectedly landed at her feet, she yelped something and jumped back. ... It was wet and slippery, and before we could grab it, the damn thing slid off the belly and onto the floor, where it bounced around like a fish out of water. ... We were all very lucky to be wearing masks, because although we were able to suppress outright laughter, grinning was irresistible. ... Finally she made a grab for it, but the slippery little phalus eluded her grasp, and immediately thudded to the floor again. At this point, the rest of us began calling out suggestions and taunts akin to a county pig wrestle." Read more...
Holy F'n Crap! Live Giant Squid on Camera for First Time Ever
A set of extraordinary images captured by Japanese scientists marks the first-ever record of a live giant squid (Architeuthis) in the wild. Read more.
Now they just need to get footage of a giant squid fighting a sperm whale. I've seen that drawing a hundred times but it's never been witnessed, much less photographed. This is a first step.
White Stripes Show
As far as I could tell, Jack White was mostly playing a Danelectro guitar run through no fewer than 25 overdrive/equalizer/distortion pedals, giving that Sears & Roebuck made (no joke) guitar the sound of an incoming inter-continental ballistic missile. I snapped a few shots while there.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
A little skip in my step
Here is a short list of some things that give me that positive little charge I need to get through the day or week:
- When powerful people are stopped from doing what they want by non-powerful people, eg, an immigration attorney having an application/petition denied, or a CEO losing money from a strike.
- When people have trouble finding an affordable house to buy.
- Every time gasoline prices go up by even one cent, my mood improves twofold.
- When I see SUV drivers not able to park in my neighborhood.
- People that have to sit in traffic for over an hour each way on their commute to work.
- The idea that the housing bubble might burst.
Can't think of any more for now.
Buenos Aires for 11 Days
Other places available are here. You know how right wingers always say, "If you don't like the US, then leave."? I have a sneaking suspicion that that cliche will hit very close to home while we're in Argentina. (Side note: like Thanksgiving, does anyone actually like the USA? [feigned sarcasm]).
If you're planning on traveling by plane over the winter holidays, buy tickets now. Over half of the airlines are bankrupt so they ain't budging on price and at this point you'll have to fly all night just to take a short hop.
Monday, September 26, 2005
This town is weird. What's next, am I gonna find out that monkeys live in the park? Oh wait, I guess they do.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Today's Iraq Protest
The Cheney guy had the Bush guy on marionette strings.
This little girl was trying to hide behind a sign.
I love counter-protesters.
And a former marine, showing that he's a true American.
Faith and her faithfuls were out in full. (She runs for DC Mayor every election.)
Old Scratch made an appearance:
I'd be willing to bet there aren't many Republicans in this crowd.
These folks are trying to shout down a crazy Christian counter-protester.
This is what Rush Limbaugh means when he says "Feminist".
Catholic Workers in the background.
These folks were friends of a friend.
Each sheet had the name and picture of a dead American soldier.
The only celebrity I saw in the march.
Friday, September 23, 2005
1970: Back when hijacking a plane was no big deal.
On September 6, 1970, the PFLP hijacked four passenger aircraft ... The Pan Am flight was diverted to Cairo; the TWA, Swissair and BOAC flights were diverted to Dawson's Field in Zarqa, Jordan. The TWA, Swissair and BOAC aircraft were subsequently blown up by the terrorists on September 12, with no casualties.
The footage of this is amazing. PFLP brought all non-jewish passengers out into the baking sun while PFLP leaders paced around and ranted on a bullhorn in broad freaking daylight. The media was there interviewing and taping it all like it was a press conference. Meanwhile the 100 or so jewish passengers baked inside the aircrafts in 130 degree desert heat. After getting all the people out, they torched the three planes.
One of the hijackers, Leila Khaled, is still alive and free. She often speaks publicly at relatively mainstream organizations and in 2002 spoke to students at a London university. Mind you, this woman armed two hand grenades, held them in both hands, and threatened to kill an entire planeful of people.
No big deal. It was 1970, back when hijacking a plane was cool.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
My Life as a Teetotaler: Week Two
I sat alone at a packed restaurant/bar this weekend with good-qwality alcohol in every direction. The bartender was passing down Booker's Bourbon to some guys who'd never tried it and I didn't flinch. And you know, it really wasn't too hard to sit there and sip my tonic water with lime. Maybe I'm not as bad off as I thought. I mean, I was not only able to resist it, but I didn't have a craving for it, either.
They say the can-take-it-or-leave-it feeling is important.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
But today when I was boarding the plane, I noticed that a mother and father were waiting for their kid to come out from the cockpit. I looked in and saw the pilot explaining and showing some kid all about how to fly a plane. This was the happiest thing that I saw all day.
I guess there're still some of life's little freedoms intact during our never-to-end war on terror.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
Silver Spring, Maryland: whatever random thing you want.
- A frozen package of four (4) giant water bugs.
- Wigs, painted nails and hair extensions. (There were about 15 stores like this.)
- Plane tickets to Buenos Aires.
- An assortment of fully automatic assault rifles and high powered handguns.
- This vinyl album:
(In the bottom left it says, "A BIG BAD BLACK BEDFUL OF FUN - FOR ADULTS ONLY)
- A $1410 couch.
- Tickets to this movie.
- Sheet music for most of the works of Bach & Mozart.
- A harmonica.
- A whole eel, frozen solid, like a cold stick.
Of all the above, I bought two. Guess which ones.
Friday, September 16, 2005
If I had to choose two words to sum up the overwhelming impression left by this week's raucous "debate" over the Iraq war between polemicist Christopher Hitchens and British MP George Galloway, I'd have to choose the ones that came straight from Mr. Hitchens's mouth: "sinister piffle." Mr. Hitchens was of course referring to everything Mr. Galloway had said up to that point, a verbal burble that unfortunately defined too much of the evening.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
And she's kind of hot, too.
Hitchens vs. Galloway
Just listened to a debate between Chris Hitchens and some drunk Scottish guy named George Galloway who was intellectually inferior to Hitchens by no fewer than 25 fathoms. They were debating the war in Iraq (Hitchens for, Galloway against) and even though I'm against this war, their debate almost changed my mind.
Hitchens could debate the most intellectual heavy-hitters and win, but instead, they gave him some crazed Scottish street-ranter. Here's the gist of the two positions:
There's a lot to be proud of in Iraq, like the existence of 6 TV networks. Under Saddam your whole family would be murdered for owning one satellite dish. In addition, the explaining should not always be put on the pro-war crowd; the anti-war crowd has a lot of explaining to do for being against the outcome of various wars in recent years (ie, Yugoslavia, Kuwait, Afganistan). Plus, Saddam is locked up.
Hitchens has no right to be for this war because he used to be pro-PLO and anti-Gulf War I. He's a hypocrite. Plus, the Iraq war has killed a lot of people.
That was his only counter-attack to the Hitch.
Hey George Galloway, the Left is never gonna get anywhere with red herrings and ad hominem attacks, you fuck stick.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
It must be something new bands are using because I never remember hearing that sound like five years ago.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Re-occurring Odd Things Around the White House
On each of those trips, exactly two somewhat odd, somewhat un-noticeable-to-the-untrained-eye, re-occurring rituals are played out. I've lost count of the times I've seen this:
Odd thing #1: A large gaggle of tourists---usually Asian or American midwestern school children---are gathered, not near the White House where they should be, but around the homeless woman who has been camped out in front of the White House since 1981 in protest of the existence of nuclear weapons. She has these wooden signs that say, "BAN NUCLEAR WEAPONS, OR HAVE A NICE DOOMSDAY". The tourists are just chatting away with this woman. Weird.
Odd thing #2: Some tourist---usually a white, midwestern-looking girl---is taking pictures, not of the White House, but of the freaking Bank of America building across from it on Pennsylvania Ave. It's not like the building is interesting or special or something; it just looks like your average bank.
Why are these things happening? WTF?
Monday, September 12, 2005
My Life as a Teetotaler: Week One
That behavior got me banned from the sauce: I've gone cold turkey. I can honestly say that these seven days are the longest I've gone without alcohol in several years. On days three and four, there was some anxiety and I felt like the Burt Bacharach song, "I just don't know what to do with myself". But as the days moved on, I felt my mind becoming clearer, my thoughts sharper and my sleep sounder. Saturday and Sunday mornings were really strange because I actually woke up feeling good. The fact that I was surprised because I felt good on a weekend morning is very illuminating. How bad had it gotten that I was shocked at feeling normal? Bad. Pretty bad.
It's not to say I'll never drink again, but it's about time for a break.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Animal Rescue Bake Sale: A Gi-normous Success
I'd like to thank all those involved in our bake sale and happily report that we raised $1,084.00 which I just donated to HS Rescue Teams online.
Since it was Adams Morgan Day we got all the foot traffic coming from the Metro. It was one of those days that make you think that maybe people are good after all. So many folks just dropped twenty dollar bills in the pot which put us over the one grand mark.
Friday, September 09, 2005
We're the Unicorns and we're people, too.
That awful feeling came to an abrupt halt when I started re-listening to The Unicorns' album "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone". Like any album, it's not all perfect but a few of those cuts keep me coming back time and time again. They're like Pavement with a half-broken Casio and one or two guys who practices his guitar for four hours a day.
I haven't been obsessed with a band like this since Fischerspooner.
Good Slide Show
I'd even say it cuts through a lot of the bullshit, excuses and blame that's being tossed around right now.
Biking in the City: A Guide
- It is not illegal to bike on the sidewalk, no matter what people tell you. The sidewalk is safer than the street. If there are a lot of pesky-ass pedestrians walking in front of you, just weave around them. If someone gives you shit, rehearse a rude comeback before getting on your bike in the morning. It's hard to think of a witty response to "Get off the fucking sidewalk!" while moving on two wheels at 15 miles per hour. (And PS: Old people tend to yell at bikers more than the young.)
- You don't need a helmut. All the time that I've worn mine, I never used it once. In the summer, your head will become a sweat factory under that worthless piece of plastic and hard foam. So unless you're really clumsy, save the money.
- Stop signs and stop lights don't apply to bikers. Don't let any car-driver tell you otherwise. One of the benefits of riding a bike to work is that you don't have to obey that type of shit. Bikers have no blind spots so who the fuck cares.
- "One Way" streets do not apply to bikes. Again, we ride bikes because in dense traffic, getting from point A to point B is faster than a car. Downtown, cars drive slow enough that they can avoid you if you're riding against the flow of traffic anyway.
- Any car that honks at you gets a middle finger. Cars don't realize how loud a horn is outside the car. It will startle the hell out of you and in that adrenaline rush, the bird will instinctively shoot upward. It's just a reflex.
- No one respects bike lanes. Those lovely painted white lines with the cute little bike logo mean nothing. No one respects them. Not even bikers.
- Get the hell out of the way of all cars with Maryland or Virginia tags. These suburban commuters are not used to pedestrians and bikes. No one walks or bikes in the suburbs (I know, I used to live there) so they're not concerned about you, and what's more, they may be looking to kill you. A biker is often *plain offensive* to a suburbanite. And keep a special eye on the VA/MD Sport Utility Vehicle drivers because their range of vision is like less than 45 degrees.
- Weave through traffic as much as possible. In part, this is why you're riding a bike anyway: to get to work faster than car drivers. You may want to saw off the ends of your handle bars to get through tight squeezes.
- DC taxi drivers are actually very courteous. Strangely, these cars will yield to you more than any other. If they hit you, they'll be sued so hard that they'll probably have to return to Eritrea, so they're going to avoid a biker like the plague.
- You don't need side view mirrors or a water bottle or all that crap you'll spend too much money at City Bikes for. If you're just going to work and back, just turn your head to see who's behind you. You won't be thirsty, either. Get a damned drink at work.
- Watch out for parallel-parked car doors. When biking past parked cars, always give them about 3-4 feet of room in case someone opens their door. This may mean you'll have to bike in the way of moving cars but fuck 'em. Let them swerve around you. They're the ones that decided to drive into the city, not you.
- You won't end up sweaty and uncomfortable at work. This is just an excuse people make for being lazy and driving to work. Unless you're a big fat-ass, sweatiness is nothing to worry about.
Anyway, that's all I can think of for now. If I've left anything out, let me know.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Old news, but still ...
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Road Warrior Photo Gallery
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
My Labor Day
On the way over we were passed by some fast-moving guys on small catamarans. They were hiked out to the side which was really cool.
My friend's son, Blake.
At Tilghman Island there was a full on Redneck Xtravaganza going on. It was totally unexpected. Along with the repeated- high-horsepower-boat-motor-revving displays and beer swilling there was this "Hot Bod' Contest".
Best sailing weather in a long time.
Is this 1970s Biafra or something?
I don't even want to put it directly on my blog.
Friday, September 02, 2005
I'm glad summer is over so I will be forced to stop wearing flip-flops.
Having said that, flip-flops are the most low maintenance footwear known to humans. This, and they're 10 times less hot than ordinary shoes. So for the past three months I've struggled every day wearing such things because they're so comfortable yet I look like a tool whenever I leave the house. Now that September's here and the weather calls for less offensive footwear, I won't be so conflicted.
Fall, it'll be good to see you when you get here, my friend.