Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

Ha! I got called a faggot and a "gay sailor" over the VHF radio today by some fishing rednecks. Hey, I ain't offended; actually, we all had a laugh onboard about it.

Here's my advice for any sailor who fishes the Chesapeake and monitors VHF channel 68 (fisherman's channel): be poised with a snappy comeback if you inform a passing boat that you're in a sailing vessel because it'll take less than a second for the faggot comments to start flying. Your response will be effective if it mentions sex with the offending 'neck's mother.

I left DC at 6am and fought some of the biggest swells I've seen in 8 years of sailing the Bay. Throughout this slamming off the wave crests, I was towing two poles trying to catch beastly rockfish. It was too rough and windy to have the headsail out -- only had the reefed main keeping us moving. I was passing a fishing vessel towing a ridiculous number of lines -- maybe 15 rods! -- so I hailed him over the VHF to see if he was catching any. I said I was the green sailboat off his port side. He didn't answer, but immediately another voice came over the radio saying in a lispy, exaggerated gay-sounding accent, "Couplea gay sthailors ..." NICE. I was ready on the queue and responded, "Your mom didn't think I was gay last night."

Hilarious.

There's always some rivalry between people doing similar sports: kayakers vs. canoers; free-climbers vs. top-ropers; skiiers vs. snowboarders; spelunkers vs. cave-divers; Army vs. Navy -- shit, there's probably even a rivalry between babies who suck their thumbs and those that use pacifiers.

But who's the real tough guy on the water while fishing? Some 'neck from rural Maryland who spends $300 for a day's gas dragging around $5,000 dollars worth of equipment -- nearly double the cost of my entire boat -- from the comfort of his heated cabin? How much skill does it take to drive a stinkpot while towing lines? Oh, that's right, it's called a throttle and it goes two ways: forward and backward. Wow, that must be hard to learn.

Anyway, like I said, I ain't pissed. I'm just sayin' -- you dish it, I'll dish back.