Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Just give me the award for best mustache right now.



The 2008 Mustache Contest is tomorrow. There's no way I can lose.
Comments:
Please tell me that while in possession of that mustache, you wear an old timey black and white striped bathing suit and walk around the house lifting comically oversized wooden dumbbells. Please.
 
BB,

No, but I do ride a really tall bike with an over-sized front wheel.
 
You look just like Rollie Fingers.

You can't lose.
 
you may now be the hottest mustachioed man i have ever had the privilege of laying my eyes on.
 
Hands off, bitches, that is my husband you're ogling.
 
GREAT SCOTT, man!

That's the sort of mustache that all men FEAR and all women ADORE. I can imagine it standing on a rocky, wind-swept mountaintop with a fur-bikini-clad slave woman at its hairy feet.

It is the stuff of myth, good sir.
 
Shaving that moustache would be a crime. You've got to keep it. It's awesome.
 
For future consideration:

The "Vinnie" after Vincent Price, that suave bastard:

http://scifipedia.scifi.com/images/c/c4/Vincent_Price.jpg

Balloon Boob King Russ Meyer:

http://www.teezeh.de/wp-content/rm.jpg

John Waters:

http://bigscreenlittlescreen.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/john-waters.jpg

Walt Disney?

http://www.publicforuminstitute.org/nde/images/Walt%20Disney.gif

Snidely Whiplash:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/c2/Villianc.svg/300px-Villianc.svg.png

This Dude:

http://www.akirathedon.com/images/photos/moustache.jpg

Edward Gorey Guy:

http://www.nifnaks.com/chatterings-blog/36-edward-gory-ball-the-vast-moustache.html

http://dev.null.org/scrapbook/2006/0414_goreyesque.jpg

The Billy de Wolfe:

http://oldtimeentertainment.com/images/DEAR%20BRAT.jpg


I agree with Cuff. You look like Rollie Fingers.

http://drupeau.blogspot.com/2004/10/famous-moustaches-part-1-moustache-of.html

Since you love being on the water, I think you should aim for octopus man:

http://media.canada.com/canwest/90/moustache_competition090107.jpg
 
Can you also do magic?

That is the best ever BTW!
 
I am picturing you in black, as Snidely Whiplash, from The Dudley Do-Right Show.
 
hahhahah you look like Mr Monopoly hahahahaha that's hot.
 
..and here I thought I had shot my wad.

LONNIE! HOWARD FARGIN' HUGHES!

http://www.house.gov/cleaver/history/hughes.jpg

http://www.cobbles.com/simpp_archive/images/hughes-filmtable.jpg
 
Nice womb broom.

I will pay you in cash if you post a little video of yourself doing that turn of the century fighting put up your dukes pose/dance, with your one fist out really far and the other one out half way. Then rolling them around while you go into a half squat and hop around the room yelling, "CARE TO SCRAPE A KNUCKLE?? CARE TO SCRAPE A KNUCKLE??"

OMYGOD i CAN'T EVEN WRITE ANYMORE IM LAUGHING SO HARD.

please do this for us.
 
All,

Thanks for the compliments.

AR,

I did that fisticuffs routine at the competition. I won one of the prizes. Not sure if any video was taken. I'll post photos of it later.

LB
 
Sorry for the 2 year late comment, but all I can think of is an image of limp clocks hanging on tree branches.
 
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