Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Monday, January 21, 2008

A Nautical History, With Pussy in Mind

If you sail with me for long enough, be prepared to sing songs about fucking.

I'm not a misogynist, but I do love a good swashbuckling song about sex.

Four days into my last annual sailing trip, all my friends had learned the lyrics to a song about
engineering a giant steel dildo to satisfy a woman with an especially large vagina.

The Salty Dick's Uncensored Sailor Songs CD taught them well.

Dirty shanties are near extinct and I, personally, want to bring them back; oral history is the best way to do it.

The above album is the only one in existence that contains an aural catalog of the feel-good sex songs that were really sung at sea, raw, sexually misogynistic, and unexpurgated --- in short, the exact feeling any male at sea for longer than three days feels deep within his nuts --- that "I MUST FUCK A FEMALE" feeling. (All asexuals, men with undersized testicles, and PC Left Fascists, sadly, may have never felt this).

I love this aspect of sailing.

The Salty Dick's website puts it best:
"If you want to learn songs that deal frankly with sexual themes, find a group of men without the company of women, open up a bottle or two, and stay close until the singing begins."
God DAMN, bring on Spring. I can't wait until winter's over.
Comments:
I thought after three days, sailors simply turned to sodomy.
 
Cuff,

Half the album is about buggery. Check out the old classic, "Friggin' in the Riggin'".
 
Fireship is the best!
 
word.
 
Asshole rules the Navy!!

Thank the heavenly lord you buggers are too friggin ugly to drop trou for, or I'd be steppin upon dry land with the HIVVIES IN MY SKIVVIES!!

AR
 
remember when we tried to perform that one during one of your karaoke parties? I think we offended a few people enough to drive them out. I felt kind of bad about that...

What was it? split her...never mind..!
 
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