Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Moving: Five Things I Will Not Miss about Adams Morgan

We finally bought a house! (right).

This means that I will leave Adams Morgan after living here for eight years for a proper row house with a backyard and garage in 16th Street Heights. Thank god for the real estate bubble's deflation!

Here's a list of things I will NOT miss:
  1. Being awakened by the sound of urine hitting pavement. Our rented apartment is on the main thoroughfare back to the Metro station from a huge number of bars and restaurants. By the time the drunks get near our apartment on their walk back, the alcohol in their blood starts to push on their bladders. They usually relieve themselves in the parking lot right behind our bedroom window. In the summertime when our back door is kept open, we are awakened every single Friday and Saturday night after the bars let out (2:30AM - 3:00AM). For some reason, the groups of drunks scream and yell when they take their pisses. We used to shout at them, but they acted like they were the ones being imposed upon. Finally my wife bought a Super Soaker Arctic Shock Blast and now we regularly spray them --- even in cold weather.
  2. Fighting people from Maryland and Virginia for parking. Adams Morgan is the worst parking district in the city. But the problem is mainly because out-of-towners compete with locals. (I have nothing against Maryland; I'm a suburban boy myself). We regularly spend 20-30 minutes circling for parking, passing parked MD and VA tags along the way. This also prevents people from other places wanting to visit us. More here.
  3. People who have a snooty opinion about their neighborhood. The local liberal residents seem to think we live in a god damn UNESCO World Heritage Site. My dad's friend Bruce went to bars in Adams Morgan in the 1960s and when he was here recently, he said it looked basically the same: "tacky". People also seem to think Adams Morgan "used to be cool" but it's always been the same: an urban strip mall full of bars without parking lots --- McDonald's, Starbucks, Subway and Popeye's fried chicken included. And don't think that's a recent thing: there was a Long John Silver's on the corner of 18th and Columbia Road as early as 1968.
  4. Living in an apartment that's a "half". Since I live in a basement --- "English" basement, whatever that means --- my address is 1947 1/2. This is annoying when describing where you live over the phone: "... and a half??" Me, "Yes, 'a half'. Just write the numeral 1, slash 2. It's a basement." I've had to say that phrase weekly for eight years.
  5. Constant access to over 60 bars and restaurants. This can be a blessing and a curse: it gives you unlimited happiness but also bankrupts you and turns you into a drunkard and glutton.
Yaaay!!! Daniel and i are so excited for you guys. Can't wait to see it!

The house looks great - can't wait to roll in the kegs and have a block party, bitch!

I'll miss peeing on your back porch, esse.
SWEEEEEEEEET!!!!!! WE are sooo excited for you guys. I am waiting along with All rounder to roll in the kegs and stripp........ I mean play pens for the kids and have a party.

By the way what ever day you are moving let me know and we will be there with bells on to help. Including SEAN. hehehehehehehe,
Thanks, guys!
Grats man. If you need any home improvement tips, let me know.

As a side note, it is not alcohol that pushes against your bladder, its water. Ethanol blocks the action of a hormone called ADH. ADH's job is to stop water from being absorbed by the kidneys. Without ADH working, your body loses lots of water which is why we all have hangovers in the morning. Sorry to be technical, but its one of the few things that stuck with me from college and I thought it was so cool.
oh, and btw, the parking thing....I can totally commiserate with you on the parking. Living in SF was very similar. If you got home from work after a certain hour, you were gonna spend some time looking for parking. I have known people who would not go on weekend getaways because finding a parking spot when they came home was too much of a headache.

Anyways, you get the idea. Cheers to your garage my friend. You are simply gonna love it.
Lonnie: Long time reader - few time poster here. I have to say I'm happy as hell to welcome you to our neighborhood (I'm near the corner of 15th and Crittenden). From the looks of the pic I'm thinking your new digs are on Buchanon St.


Honestly, we don't even drive very much but when we do, our quality of life diminishes because of the parking situation. I have altered plans because of parking when we return.


Sorry to see you leave AdMo, but I will answer one of your questions with the answer I was given by a friend as I prepared to move to DC so many years ago. He was warning me about the terms used in apartment ads (e.g. "cozy" means "small")...anyway, he asked me to remember that it was always raining in England and to think "damp" when reading the phrase "English Basement."

Congratulations on the new house.
Sounds like where you going is boresville. Don't lost your edge!
Happy homeownership! So excited for you. I have good people, if you ever need professional home-fixing aid.
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