Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

Case study: 25 year old female, vegetarian since age 15, master's degree in world politics, and all around good lefty---sporting a Che Guevara beach bag.

The context: I'm up at 10:30 AM, frying some delicious Safeway brand smoked peppered bacon. A thin aroma-ladden smoke fills the house as the rasher pops and sputters in its own grease in the iron skillet; the place is beginning to smell like a 1920s backwoods smokehouse. In walks said 25 year old vegetarian, getting ready to head to the beach when she becomes transfixed, saying to me: "Oh my god. That smells SO good." Then, three minutes later: "I can't believe how good that smells. It's incredible. Do you think I could have a bite?" Me: "Sure, go ahead." (Subsequent chewing, and look of pure satifaction on her face). Vegetarianism, OUT THE DOOR in five minutes flat.

In conclusion: Very few people can resist the wonderfulness of smoked peppered bacon. Its flavor is second only to that other edible perfection: raw oysters. If you have friends or loved ones who're vegetarian, think twice before cooking peppered bacon in their presence. Their life long ideals could risk being thrown by the wayside in pursuit of instant satisfaction. But satisfaction WILL be the result. Believe.