Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

I've officially exited childhood: I've cancelled my Myspace and Friendster accounts.

When I joined in early 2003, and in early 2004 they were fun and interesting ... for about six months. In the beginning, I would spend hours browsing ladies' profiles who had photos of themselves with that come-hither look---bangs unfurled into their eyes. And I'd check out the teenaged dirtbags trying to look cool with tattoos and guitars. And on and on and on ...

(Slow, wide-mouthed yawn...)

I remember when I wrote down "drinking" as a "hobby" on my profile and thought it was hi-larious. It wasn't. I was a d-bag just like everybody else.

By now, the Fonz has jumped through the hoop and landed a double back flip over the great white sharks of myspace and friendster.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who gloats over the fact that they joined or listened to the cool shit before anyone else (judge me for yourself ... my 2 year blogiversary is in 2 weeks), but this shit has got to end by the time you're eeking toward your mid-thirties. Plus, as I've said before, I don't need any new friends.

Trix are for kids, my bitches. And I've moved on to Wheaties.
You just said blogoversery, anything after that won't stand up in court my friend. Ttell it to the judge, Bruner! Wait, what? I know. That made no sense. Anyway, friendster, myspace, flicker, pupster, catster, gramster (myspace for Grandmas?!?) Who cares anymore? Friendster eats one and myspace is for bloggers without blogs. I hardly ever check that shi' anymore. Like, yesterday i didn't even LOG ON.

So face.
Wise man. I'm following suit.. except my first step was to go back to childhood - my myspace profile says I'm 14 so it's private. hmmm.. if I don't want anyone to be able to see it, why do I have it? You're on to something.
Ever heard of the show called Attack of the Show (which I hate with a passion)? Well, they have a segment called "myspace Girl of the Week". If this doens't label myspace as a legal pron site, then I don't know what does.
A legal porn site? I gotta get me one of those myspace accounts.
You'll please allow me my indulgence, I still promote my music(sometimes) and need some sort of way to connect, as I have isolated myself in book writing and job hunting
The fact that MySpace and Freindster ask you sad, quiet questions about why you're leaving means I will be on them for life. Looking at those screenshots damn near killed me.

Also, shit. I was actually ON Attack of the Show. As a guest, not a MySpace girl. This does not mean it is a good show.

The saddest option, by far, is "I never had any friends on friendster" as the reason you're leaving. Eww.
Also - a long time ago I tried to delete myself from friendster but I changed my email and can't remember my old password and basically, they won't let me in. So it's like I'm being kept alive cryogenically, friendster style, for ever. It's unwanted friendster life support. I should have had a living will.
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