Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I better not be losing my gut, god dammit.

Obtaining a gut (or "food baby", as my woman calls it) takes work. Years of work. In fact, for the straight American male, a gut is bragging rights that years of good living are under his belt. But this afternoon, I saw my reflection in a window and was startled by a slight lack of paunch.

Some background: I was not able to break above the 135 pound mark until the time I finished college. Throughout most of my school years I was skinnier than many of the girls. It was a huge blow to my security and sense of malehood. But then, about 6 or 7 years ago, I gained a bulge in my stomach and it's been growing steadily since. Sometimes, when I look at old pictures of myself, I cringe, and each time I look down now, I feel reassured that I'm not a puny little boy any more.

Until today.

Is it because I've given up soda? Perhaps something happened now that I'm biking to work every day. Whatever it is, something may be changing, and I'm not happy about it.
I'll trade, because I'd love to lose my gut. I haven't seen the short side of 160 since September 2004.
How hard was it to give up soda?

That's my crack.

Wasn't hard at all. I just substituted soda for crack and vwallah ...
You want my gut? 'Cause you can fuckin' have it.
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