Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Like dog turds on a wedding cake, this beautiful beach house is crawling with cockroaches.

I never thought I cared one way or the other about two inch long brown cockroaches until I was awakened by one making its way across the back of my neck at 4:30 this morning. There's no human on earth who wouldn't have reacted like I did: shooting straight out of the bed to do the crazed-Indian-on-fire dance. I did everything except stop, drop and roll to get that little bastard off me. (SHUDDER) ... that's a feeling that has no comparison.

I'm at a friend's brother's beach house in idyllic Wrightsville Beach North Carolina, and it couldn't be more perfect: backyard of sand dunes, sea grass and ocean, Bosch appliances, trash compactor, open kitchen, and expansive living room leading to five bedrooms---mostly full of pretty young ladies. And only one drawback: the deck and garage---and sometimes bedrooms---are crawling with thick brown cockroaches. We've eaten outside each night, and every 30 minutes someone does the freakout dance as a little beastie makes its way up an unsuspecting leg. An amusing sight 'til it eventually happens to you.

Is it the high water table? The sun and heat that they crave? I have no idea. But if you ever want to launch someone into a fully awakened state, drop a big ass cockroach on the back of their neck. It sure did the trick for me.

(Side note: this blog's two year anniversay passed without mention. I guess I was supposed to say something).
Reminds me of the first apartment I ever lived in, Colin, Ace and myself go get some stuff while you and Ryan check the place out. We get back you say "guess what we found!" All I can think is, booze, drugs, money!, sweet. No, hundreds of tiny cucarachas. Well at least there was plenty of food there for the snake we lost there, hehe.
Hey Shrubs,

I remember that. But this situation is different. I think these bugs are specifically southern; they're wearing confederate flag bandanas and eatin' grits. Any ideas on how to deal with them?
Southern you say? Put on some Union army suits, wave a 35-star flag at them and scream "Charge!".
Jesus I couldn't deal with that. I hate those nasty beasties. I think I'd probably pollute the entire Atlantic with the runoff from all the RAID I sprayed after that had happened.
The ones in Hattiesburg, MS fly right into your face.
Yea, Hawaiian Roaches fly and are twice the size. When you walk into a room of them they do not run away, they dive bomb you!
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