Latest
- How I lost my front tooth and slept in a New Jerse...
- I am NOT a schmoozer.
- Dr. Sealove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying an...
- I'm not a car person, but DAMN, the Lotus Elise is...
- I've officially exited childhood: I've cancelled m...
- The Redneck Extravaganza is Fast Approaching
- No Life Jacket = No Life
- My Photoshop Work: The Out-takes
- I better not be losing my gut, god dammit.
- I've finally figured it out: DC is full of nerds. ...
Best of
Archives
- July 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- April 2005
- May 2005
- June 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
- April 2010
- June 2010
- July 2010
- September 2010
- October 2010
- November 2010
- December 2010
- January 2011
- February 2011
- March 2011
- June 2011
- July 2011
- August 2011
- September 2011
- November 2011
- July 2012
- October 2012
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
They're going to drill a god damn bolt into my skull.
Just got back from the dentist. They told me the only way I'll be able to continue eating apples with my front teeth is to get a "dental implant". That means they crank a bolt into my head---I assume at least up to the brain area---and afix an artificial tooth to the end. The dentist giggled when I called it a "bolt", but that's exactly what it is. See for yourself. It won't be done for another six weeks (!), and the temporary tooth won't be done until next week (!!), so I have to walk around for a full week looking like Cleatus the Slack-Jawed Yokel.
I'm bartending at a 4th of July party this weekend, so I'll be trying to keep conversations at a minimum and smile with my lips closed. Lord.
I tried to saw off the end of the old tooth in order to construct some sort of pre-temporary place holder in my mouth, but it didn't work. My plan was to suspend the old tooth in place with tape or denture glue, but in the process of chopping off the root of the old tooth, the whole thing shattered into a thousand pieces. Oh well. Guess I won't be hanging it on a gold chain around my neck.
Any suggestions?
I'm bartending at a 4th of July party this weekend, so I'll be trying to keep conversations at a minimum and smile with my lips closed. Lord.
I tried to saw off the end of the old tooth in order to construct some sort of pre-temporary place holder in my mouth, but it didn't work. My plan was to suspend the old tooth in place with tape or denture glue, but in the process of chopping off the root of the old tooth, the whole thing shattered into a thousand pieces. Oh well. Guess I won't be hanging it on a gold chain around my neck.
Any suggestions?
Comments:
<< Home
I had a similar situation, but it was with a back tooth, so I guess it's not really so similar after all. Ha Ha!
You could cover it up by getting a set of those crooked yellowed novelty teeth...
You could cover it up by getting a set of those crooked yellowed novelty teeth...
You could put a fake one in your mouth and anytime some one bumps into you or sasses you you could spit your tooth out at them.
Post a Comment
<< Home
Web Counters