Latest
- Like dog turds on a wedding cake, this beautiful b...
- Psychodelic Toothless Me
- They're going to drill a god damn bolt into my skull.
- How I lost my front tooth and slept in a New Jerse...
- I am NOT a schmoozer.
- Dr. Sealove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying an...
- I'm not a car person, but DAMN, the Lotus Elise is...
- I've officially exited childhood: I've cancelled m...
- The Redneck Extravaganza is Fast Approaching
- No Life Jacket = No Life
Best of
Archives
- July 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- April 2005
- May 2005
- June 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
- April 2010
- June 2010
- July 2010
- September 2010
- October 2010
- November 2010
- December 2010
- January 2011
- February 2011
- March 2011
- June 2011
- July 2011
- August 2011
- September 2011
- November 2011
- July 2012
- October 2012
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
An infallible way to convert a vegetarian to meat eater: smoked peppered bacon
Case study: 25 year old female, vegetarian since age 15, master's degree in world politics, and all around good lefty---sporting a Che Guevara beach bag.
The context: I'm up at 10:30 AM, frying some delicious Safeway brand smoked peppered bacon. A thin aroma-ladden smoke fills the house as the rasher pops and sputters in its own grease in the iron skillet; the place is beginning to smell like a 1920s backwoods smokehouse. In walks said 25 year old vegetarian, getting ready to head to the beach when she becomes transfixed, saying to me: "Oh my god. That smells SO good." Then, three minutes later: "I can't believe how good that smells. It's incredible. Do you think I could have a bite?" Me: "Sure, go ahead." (Subsequent chewing, and look of pure satifaction on her face). Vegetarianism, OUT THE DOOR in five minutes flat.
In conclusion: Very few people can resist the wonderfulness of smoked peppered bacon. Its flavor is second only to that other edible perfection: raw oysters. If you have friends or loved ones who're vegetarian, think twice before cooking peppered bacon in their presence. Their life long ideals could risk being thrown by the wayside in pursuit of instant satisfaction. But satisfaction WILL be the result. Believe.
The context: I'm up at 10:30 AM, frying some delicious Safeway brand smoked peppered bacon. A thin aroma-ladden smoke fills the house as the rasher pops and sputters in its own grease in the iron skillet; the place is beginning to smell like a 1920s backwoods smokehouse. In walks said 25 year old vegetarian, getting ready to head to the beach when she becomes transfixed, saying to me: "Oh my god. That smells SO good." Then, three minutes later: "I can't believe how good that smells. It's incredible. Do you think I could have a bite?" Me: "Sure, go ahead." (Subsequent chewing, and look of pure satifaction on her face). Vegetarianism, OUT THE DOOR in five minutes flat.
In conclusion: Very few people can resist the wonderfulness of smoked peppered bacon. Its flavor is second only to that other edible perfection: raw oysters. If you have friends or loved ones who're vegetarian, think twice before cooking peppered bacon in their presence. Their life long ideals could risk being thrown by the wayside in pursuit of instant satisfaction. But satisfaction WILL be the result. Believe.
Comments:
<< Home
I'd love to send this post through some sort of blog time machine to the Lonnie of 9 years ago, where Cool Ranch Doritos were the only things keeping you from total veganocity. I prefer the Lonnie that I can share cheese fries and sushi with. You should write a post about the deer you ate before going vegetarian.
Bacon is a powerful mouthwaterer.
And it has been noted that reindeer sausage is a seductive gateway meat product for some (if you can get it).
And it has been noted that reindeer sausage is a seductive gateway meat product for some (if you can get it).
Hell, as a meat eater... I won't touch bacon with a 10 foot pole.
Now turkey bacon... that is where it's at.
Now turkey bacon... that is where it's at.
Hahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha
yea right!
She was just a wannabe. Not a true believer! A weak willed tart looking for any excuse to give it up.
That is why they make fak-n-bacon, infidel!
We do not need your stickn dead pig, that started decaying weeks before you ate it & rots in your stomach long before it breaks down into any barely usable.
Bawahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaha
Pleazzze
hahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahaha
yea right!
She was just a wannabe. Not a true believer! A weak willed tart looking for any excuse to give it up.
That is why they make fak-n-bacon, infidel!
We do not need your stickn dead pig, that started decaying weeks before you ate it & rots in your stomach long before it breaks down into any barely usable.
Bawahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaha
Pleazzze
Zen,
Stop by my apartment on Saturday morning. I'll be cooking up some sweet, peppered pork. If you can resist, I'll give you twenty bucks.
Deal?
Post a Comment
Stop by my apartment on Saturday morning. I'll be cooking up some sweet, peppered pork. If you can resist, I'll give you twenty bucks.
Deal?
<< Home
Web Counters