Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

The latest "band practice":


My band is proving to be totally useless. I take one practice off---just one---and things turn to shit. Spankings and naked girls does not a good band practice make. WTF? As they say in the navy, a fit ship should be a benevolent dictatorship. To save this mess, I'm gonna have to step in and start cracking some skulls.

And the latest band emails prove our demise! Here's a sweet sampling:

"Hawkwind is great. They made me realize. If we really want a better band, I should play bass. Otherwise, the songs are completely jangly. I can play bass fine. I just have to pay attention. And Lemmy played bass. So it's bad ass."

"Our shit has no gusto. So someone needs to follow up with a 'What would the Misfits do?'"

"Lonnie, you're best at rocking the lead guitar. You're just a better musician. But you have to be more patient, less noodling. For fuck's sake, why can't we write a song with you alt tuning and using the slide. That's bad as shit!"

"Neither Lonnie or I should sing. It's too gay."

It's sad to say, but I don't think we're getting into the Hall of Douchebags any time soon. Sorry to disappoint.