Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Everyone Should Have a Joke

I'm not one of those people who says, "You haven't lived in DC unless you've..." or "Everyone should...", but in this case I'm going to make an exception. A RARE exception, so listen up: everyone should have a joke.

I'm amazed at how often I ask a group of people if anyone's got a joke and all I get are blank stares. What do you people have against jokes? I always have one or two, and every few months I get new ones. It's my little part in keeping America strong. I shop at Wal-Mart for the same reason.

Here's the joke I've been using lately. You can steal it if you want, but don't tell it back to me like it's yours, and if we're in the same group of people and you want to tell my joke, ask permission first. If you don't...well, need I remind you that I'm a GOLD BELT IN TAEKWONDO, MOTHERFUCKER???

Joke: A guy's sitting in his living room watching TV when there's a knock at the door. He goes to answer it and there's no one there. Then he looks down and sees a snail. "What the hell?" the guy says. He picks the snail up and throws it across his yard, almost to the driveway. Then he goes back to watching TV.

Three years later, the guy's in his house again, watching TV. Suddenly there's a knock at the door. He walks over and opens it, and the snail goes, "what the hell was that all about?"

--Olry Vibhor, TSAPS' Guest Blogger for a Week

Olry you are a master joke-teller!!!!
Olry you are a master [fill in the phrase], but the joke took me a little while to get. Perhaps I'm sl... Ha, ha.
Pretty damn funny!!
My son tells the best jokes. Here's an example:

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
I can't believe it. I've been ringing the doorbell fifty times.
I think the funniest part is the "Hi-larious" thing.
You're a great joke-teller, Olry. I learned one from you I use a lot: Hyper abbreviated version: two guys at a water cooler. One says he was embarrassed by a freudian slip at an airline ticket counter while talking to a large breasted woman: I'd like two pickets to titsburgh. Other guy says, 'I know what you mean.. I had a similar thing happen when talking to my wife at dinner the other night. I meant to say 'pass the SALT.' But what came out was 'you stupid bitch you've ruined my life.' I'm sure I butchered it.
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