Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Listening to a Redneck Fake a Black Dialect is Torture

I'm sitting in a coffee shop trying to get some work done. To my right is a big fat redneck in a black football jersey chatting to four black guys about boring football crap. It's like a different language to me. The only thing more torturous than listening to grown men talk so seriously about something so trivial is the fact that the white redneck is going on and on with a pseudo-black dialect. I suppose it's to gain some street cred with all these old black guys, but god damn, it is torture to listen to.

This 'neck naturally has a rural Maryland accent but he's faking, for example, the way he says "Redskins" -- pronouncing it, "Rayed-skins."

UGG.

I'm not sure which is worse: overhearing dudes have serious conversations about football as if it's actually an important topic, or overhearing teenaged girls over-use the word "like".
Comments:
A baltimoron faking a gangsta accent? That does sound painful.
 
what is your definition of a redneck?

a qualifier should be residence south of the Mason-Dixon line, perhaps?

maybe closer to your trip to Houston last Aug.


Tex/Anonymous
 
DC IS south of the M-D Line! See.

And don't get me wrong, I like rednecks ... some of them, at least.
 
I invented a new game to deal with the teenage girls and their incessant like like like. Whenever I am in the presence of such creatures I fake senility (not hard - just twitch a bit and dribble more than usual) and every time one of the nymphets says like then I repeat it like "like" but I say it in a very thoughtful tone like I'm talking to myself and like thinking about the meaning of like or like life, so like she says like and like I say like and like she looks at me like I'm a weirdo and I keep matching them like for like and eventually they like get the message and like move on.
 
football is cool. for those fluent it is like talking about the weather.

you don't like it because you don't know anything about it. I am equally annoyed by basebal land basketball chatter becaseu I don't know anything about those sports.

That guy sounds annoying. a wouldn't be able to concentrate. You should habe thrown your coffee on him.
 
AR,

It's true that I don't know much about football but that's not why I get annoyed at many of the conversations (not all). I can be around conversations about subjects I know zero about and have no problem -- even feel like I'm learning something about a new subject.

But for football, first, I'm just not interested and second, it's seriously annoying when people see their like of this or that team as a major part of their identity and get in serious arguments about it. People, I like this or that sport, fine, but in the end, who cares.

But I've overheard people get in fights about this team or that football team. That's just plain dumb. How can people get that invested in a bunch of overpaid old men playing a kid's game?

In the end, I'm not dislike football any more than any other sport.
 
Not a Redneck. Most true rednecks are good hearted people who spend their time working outside. Just because you work outside does not mean you are stupid. The original term for Redneck was that one was working the fields for most of the day and got a red neck. This guy is just another un-educated fool that does not know how stupid he looks For that matter he does not look like he even works. Please do not mistake a true redneck from that of an ingnorant Som bich....... yee ha
 
Anon:

The word "redneck" is used in so many ways it is nearly meaningless.

However, in this post I mean it in a pejorative way.
 
A few generations ago "redneck" and "coffee shop" (if by which you mean a place that serves up lattes and cappuccinos and not just a diner with coffee and pie) wouldn't be found in the same sentence.

By the way, I usually pronounce the name of the team from Laurel, MD, as "foreskins."
 
Almost as bad as people trying to speak like they are linked to the mafia. A bunch of Sopranos wannabes!
 
Yeah, that M-D line distinction doesn't work very well as a border control. Rednecks have leaked out all over the place IF they truly were a sub M-D phenomenon in the first place. Orygun is loaded with'em. I think a better distinguishing trait is ownership, or excitement about the potential of owning, or agitation level in proximity to the following:

Guns
Pickup trucks
Nascar events/paraphernalia
Tobacco products
Camaros
 
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