Latest
- A left-winger like me is supposed to close his eye...
- Hugo Chavez to Bush: "You are a donkey, Mr. Danger."
- Being Run Aground Looks So Cool
- Pictures from San Francisco!
- Shit god damn, I just bought a Dobro.
- This is my brother's current girlfriend.
- Touchless Massage, Energy Flows, God, the Easter B...
- "He lives on board, with a monkey."
- Here's to you, winter ... May you rot in hell.
- Without me, the band is turning to shit.
Best of
Archives
- July 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- April 2005
- May 2005
- June 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
- April 2010
- June 2010
- July 2010
- September 2010
- October 2010
- November 2010
- December 2010
- January 2011
- February 2011
- March 2011
- June 2011
- July 2011
- August 2011
- September 2011
- November 2011
- July 2012
- October 2012
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Pop Music Is a Sedentary Animal
Is there nothing more for popular music to do? Have we exhausted everything? The conclusive unanimous answer is depressing: pop music is like a water buffalo caught in a trap, locked in an enigma, wrapped in a shroud. It cannot innovate. It's as static as television.
Let me lay out some formulas in case you need to explain this sad fact to a friend.
Most guitars have 6 strings. When I first learned to play guitar in 1988, I was struck by how easy it was. That's a secret all guitar players have. Jimi Hendrix? Ingve Malmstein? Robert Johnson? They got lucky. Take it from a guy (me) who's played guitar for over 17 years: it's a cinch. Very little talent is needed. So if it involves guitar, it's not gonna change for 150 more years. Believe.
There's no talent to being a DJ. I defer to Vice here. They had an article a while back that was genius. A key quote: "A 70-year-old blind Ethiopian leper with 10 broken fingers can 'spin' just as well as any B-list celebrity at any instore party for some gay snowboarding jeans company. I promise." So take that blind Ethiopian guy, put someone behind a mic who has half a sense of rhythm, and you've got rap music. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but it won't change much. Ever. (This sweeping claim applies to all electronic music, too).
Indie rock is made by skinny white boys who were picked on in high school. Holy lord, how many variations of indie rock can one withstand? Here's the deal: if you were a skinny boy in high school and college, and you still haven't gained weight, you're probably feeling pretty unmanly. You've got more emotions running through your veins than teenaged girls. So what do you do? Play guitar. Sing. Start a band. Play live. There you have it. Stasis forever ...
Uber-pop schlock. Madonna on down to Kelly Clarkson. That shit will be playing after the apocalypse. Changeless.
The Society of the Spectacle. Nothing is "edgy" for more than half a year. Don't believe me? Read Guy Debord. It's true. "In societies where modern conditions of production prevail, all of life presents itself as an immense accumulation of spectacles. Everything that was directly lived has moved away into a representation." - G. Debord, 1968
Let me lay out some formulas in case you need to explain this sad fact to a friend.
Most guitars have 6 strings. When I first learned to play guitar in 1988, I was struck by how easy it was. That's a secret all guitar players have. Jimi Hendrix? Ingve Malmstein? Robert Johnson? They got lucky. Take it from a guy (me) who's played guitar for over 17 years: it's a cinch. Very little talent is needed. So if it involves guitar, it's not gonna change for 150 more years. Believe.
There's no talent to being a DJ. I defer to Vice here. They had an article a while back that was genius. A key quote: "A 70-year-old blind Ethiopian leper with 10 broken fingers can 'spin' just as well as any B-list celebrity at any instore party for some gay snowboarding jeans company. I promise." So take that blind Ethiopian guy, put someone behind a mic who has half a sense of rhythm, and you've got rap music. Don't get me wrong, I like it, but it won't change much. Ever. (This sweeping claim applies to all electronic music, too).
Indie rock is made by skinny white boys who were picked on in high school. Holy lord, how many variations of indie rock can one withstand? Here's the deal: if you were a skinny boy in high school and college, and you still haven't gained weight, you're probably feeling pretty unmanly. You've got more emotions running through your veins than teenaged girls. So what do you do? Play guitar. Sing. Start a band. Play live. There you have it. Stasis forever ...
Uber-pop schlock. Madonna on down to Kelly Clarkson. That shit will be playing after the apocalypse. Changeless.
The Society of the Spectacle. Nothing is "edgy" for more than half a year. Don't believe me? Read Guy Debord. It's true. "In societies where modern conditions of production prevail, all of life presents itself as an immense accumulation of spectacles. Everything that was directly lived has moved away into a representation." - G. Debord, 1968
Comments:
<< Home
I had so much empty air to expel from my mouth that I devoted an entire post to replying. (OK, I just wanted an excuse to post the DC4C clip I took).
Post a Comment
<< Home
Web Counters