Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

On Friday night, my friend Tom was walking home alone from the restaurant where he works. It was around 4 AM.

While walking down an empty street, a homeless-looking guy confronted him with a rusty knife. The guy pointed the knife at Tom and demanded his money.

Tom reached into his pocket and pulled out a wine opener that he'd been using at the bar that night.

Tom unfolds the wine opener under the street lamp and says to the guy, "Yea? I've gotta knife, too, mother fucker. You wanna cut each other up over the three dollars I've got in my pocket?"

The guy with the knife turned and ran away.

So Tom scared off a mugger by wielding a god damn corkscrew. No joke. This further proves that me and the rest of my friends are genuine milk-fed pussies. Here's to you, Tom. You've got balls of steel ... but the mind of a lunatic.