Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Monday, October 03, 2005

My Life as a God Damn Teetotaler: Month One

I can't believe it's been a month since I've had one drop of alcohol. As you may have seen from my posts here, the first few weeks went really well. I felt refreshed and energetic. I went through some stressful periods at work and didn't fall off the wagon, nor did I crave the sauce. Having said that, my main thought after a month is, "I get the freaking point, already."

Yesterday, I sat in a quaint beer garden at a German restaurant in Maryland with around 15 friends and acquaintances. I was the only asshole sipping tonic water while everyone else enjoyed the finest beer the world has to offer. And what good did this abstinence do for humanity? Normally, I would've had two, maybe three beers, and I assure you, good could only have come out of it.

Another thing that I'm realizing more and more is that there is not one single non-alcoholic beverage that goes well with a good dinner. Not one. I mean, would a normal person ever consider having a glass of water with a porterhouse steak? I've done it and I'm starting to have ethical problems with killing the taste of steak that way. I might as well boil the meat and eat it.
Don't worry. Craving a good time with friends is different than craving the ethanol.
You've given me inspiration to lay off the juice for a time. Not enough inspiration to actually do it, but inspiration nonetheless.

Hmm, how about a nice orange soda to complement your porterhouse? Or a vintage root beer?
Dear Anonymous,

I don't crave ethanol. I enjoy beer, gin, whiskey, vermouth and their friends.

The closest thing to pure ethanol is vodka and I've never been a fan of it. No flavor.
Moderation, my dear boy, moderation. Have a damn beer. ONE beer. (Two on a Friday.)
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