Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Squat Toilets Help the Shit Out Cleanly

Most people in Europe and the US are used to sitting down to squeeze out shit into a chair-shaped apparatus but most people in Asia are used to hovering over the “squat toilet” that you see here.

At first, the hunched-down shitting position is off-putting but it’s actually a more efficient and clean way of getting rid of feces, especially if it’s in spraying liquid form --- often the case after chowing third world street food like snakehead fish, wild boar liver and frog legs (pictures to come).

In western countries, when you sit down to take a crap like you’d sit in a chair for dinner, your ass cheeks are fairly close together, making the fudge dragon slide against the insides of your butt cheeks before it hits water. Ew! But when you’re squatted down over a hole in the floor, your ass cheeks are spread apart wider, allowing the poo to go about its business quickly, leaving little trace on your body.

Just thought I'd dispell any snobbish notions that you developed world pussies are cleaner poopers than the rest of the world.
Posted by: Wicketywack / 9:43 AM
Comments:
But if you have the serious runs..i mean the kind that get splattered all over the side of thhe bowl...that would get all over you legs and feet etc. Don't you think?
# posted by Blogger Dilkman : 9:55 AM
 
Nothing like squishy poo in your shoe, Patrick.
# posted by Blogger Wicketywack : 10:05 AM
 
I've got two things:
1. It looks hellishly easier to clean up the toilet.
2. God forbid you lose your balance.
# posted by Blogger cs : 10:09 AM
 
"In western countries, when you sit down to take a crap like you’d sit in a chair for dinner, your ass cheeks are fairly close together, making the fudge dragon slide against the insides of your butt cheeks before it hits water. Ew!"

Put this one in your best of, Bruner. Good work! I'm still laughing and plan to incorporate the phrase "fudge dragon" into my vernacular at the earliest appropriate opportunity (maybe later at the White House meeting).
# posted by Blogger red storm : 12:20 PM
 
squat toilets are a refreshing change of pace. i've backpacked through asia several times and i always have a tougher time adjusting to the toilets back home than i do adjusting to a squatter. when i come home, sitting on a toilet makes me feel like i'm standing on top of a building.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 3:40 PM
 
I spent a year working in the back country of southern Utah and had to dig latrines every day for my poop. I never had better poops in my life. Much cleaner, which is key when you are having to carry your TP around. Some people argue that sitting and pooping kinks the intestine in an un-natural way, and that squatting is more like a fetal position and thus better for your body. I made a lot of friends who practice aboriginal skills like hunting with hand made bows and arrows, brain-tanning leather and making clothing, making fire with bow-drills etc. and some of them have one of these in their homes for when they are not working in the back country: http://www.squatplatform.com/

Crazy, but they swear by it.
# posted by Blogger Apollo : 9:49 AM
 
Devil's adversary reporting.

If you have bad knees and aren't able to squat, you are shit out of luck.

BOMBS AWAY!!!
# posted by Blogger All Rounder : 12:01 AM
 
I am simultaneously in love and furious with you for saying "fudge dragon"
# posted by Blogger Jeff Simmermon : 10:59 AM
 
They even have these in northern Italy, fagawdsake. I stopped into the pee-er at a pleasant little bistro alongside Lake Maggiore and was for the first time ever confronted with: The Hole.

Happily, all I had to do was pee in that sucker. I'm not quite ready to transition to open-air style dumping.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 10:46 AM
 
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