Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Singles, for when I'm feeling blue.

When I'm feeling like a hungover loser who has no friends or anyone who loves him, witnessing the sea of lonliness a few hundred feet from my apartment makes me remember that my situation is far better than most of my brethren. And I'm not talking about the homeless guys.

As soon as I put two shoes onto my front stoop in Adams Morgan, I'm passed by brisk-walking 20-somethings, trudging to Tryst (coffee shop) in desperate hope of making eye contact and conversation with someone of the opposite sex. Two blocks into my walk, I pass three caf├ęs filled with the unmarried masses clacking away on laptops; most are alone.

I've struggled with guilty feelings regarding my own schadenfreude, but this spectacle sometimes gives me a boost and for the umpteenth time I'm reminded that my love situation is far better than the throngs of people whose primary social motivation is to increase their proximity to the opposite sex. What a stifling way for humans to live!

The media constantly glamorizes the single life and all us married people are supposed to feel like our situation is the unfortunate one---as if we're all unhappy, sexless dullards, on the verge of divorce, longing to be single again. Judging from all the married people I know, that's a load of pure slag.

From my vantage point, the life of a single is filled with a host of endless tedium: dating sites, craigslist postings, tiresome dating blogs, awkward social situations, game-playings and sexual deprivation. And the recent sex survey that found that married couples have more sex than singles is enough to boost my mood until my dick falls off.

I honestly don't mean this as a slight to any of my single friends. Just a lucid observation.
Comments:
Can you imagine being on a date? Not only do I have zero game, but the awkwardness would drive me screaming out the nearest window.

The folks I totally feel for are the divorced 40 somethings. I think they probably have it the worst, feeling like their prime has passed them by and they messed it up.
 
i don't know where in the media you're getting the message that singles are living the high life, practically every movie ever made is about two people coming together in the ultimate prize, a monogamous romantic relationship. and show me a single girl who thinks the single life is better than married life. girls have it pounded into their head from birth that their ultimate goal is to find prince charming and get married. methinks your perception comes from your own insecurities about married life, not the media.
 
Anyone going to Tryst with the hopes of hooking up is desperate indeed...
 
i bet you have directv too:

"directv has an add that says friends don't let friends subscribe to cable. why not? is it because since your getting fucked on directv you want your friends to suffer too.

kind of like when all your married friends connivance you to get married so you can be as miserable as them."
 
There's nothing like a fat ugly married guy getting preachy about relationships.


Next.
 
wow this beats my current internet feud by a mile...someone called it an "unusually cunty post".

jeff simmermon, it gets worse. Say you do get married but don't have kids yet (or ever)...the married with kids take the exact same position looking down on you.

But wait, you have a kid and decide that one is enough, you start getting snarky comments from the repopulate the earth 5 kids at a time fanatics. it never ends.
 
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