Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I just got chased by a vicious turkey.

Today I learned that turkeys are sons of bitches.

I had to run some errands in the country near Annapolis and while driving I spotted a big-ass turkey standing on someone's front lawn. I stopped to check it out.

When I got out of the car, it seemed docile, so I snapped a few pictures. In turkey religion, this must steal their souls because at that point it flared out its tail feathers and charged me like a pissed off miniature grizzly bear. That sucker looked like he meant business, so I ran back to the car, narrowly missing a wound to my butt cheek. For the next few minutes, I watched him circle my vehicle like a shark. He began craning his neck like, "Bitch, I am for real. Do not fuck with me."

And the sound they make is definitely not a "gobble gobble"; it's more like a high-pitched death chirp.

Anyway, for the next few minutes he circled my car until I hit the gas, and then, that turkey CHASED MY CAR. I am not kidding. I managed to snap a three second video for posterity. If I hadn't been running for my life, I might have been able to get more video. Notice the turkey in full trot on the right of the screen:

Now I feel even better about eating these beasts for Thanksgiving. They are not nice animals.
Ha, well, you know what it was right? He knows what the time of year and is a little bitter. A good defense for future reference is a can of cranberry sauce.
Maybe he was trying to mate. Don't be so culturally insensitive.

Awesome story.
I would pay good money to see you fight a turkey. Cage match.
I'm putting money on the turkey.
Not only do Turkey's believe that photographs steal their souls, they also conduct ritual circumcisions on their young.

You'd also develop a pretty primitive society if you had a flourescent nutsack attached to your neck.
This is going to pop in my head when I sit down to Thanksgiving dinner next week. Glad he wasn't able to peck ya in the butt.
How great! I'm agreed that this is a good way to make oneself feel better about eating them. I've heard goose stories that were incredibly similar. Ducks & chickadees remain nonconfrontational...
Hey, Bruner...

The WaPo Express picked up your turkey post...screen shot and everything:

You're lucky you didn't get chased down by a vicious turducken.
Did you get its number?
Ha, ha, ha! That is so random.
I'm betting on the turkey as offense Lonnie. You want to see nasty? Wait until a rooster chases you.
While I was hunting I had about 5 turkeys scare off a big buck. I still got the Doe!
well, I don't feel so alone. I just got chased by a turkey today for the first time in my life and I wanted to see if anyone else had and voila! here you are!

I, too, do not feel bad about eating turkey. Although I was invading her space as she had 4 young turkies with her to protect, but she didn't do anything while I was taking pictures with my phone, only when I was trying to leave!
So the SAME thing happened to me today!!! I deliver packages for a living. The turkey chased me to my truck. Once I got in it just stood in front of my truck. Once I did drive off it CHASED my truck!! Creepy!
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Web Counter
Web Counters