Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

I experimented with self-imposed starvation vegetarianism years ago when I was wooing a demure black-rain-cloud girl whose one passion in life was animal rights. Her allure was enough for me to put aside my love of meat for a moment and my vegetable affliction continued for years after the relationship soured. I kept it up to prove to my friends that I hadn't become a veg "just for a girl."

But I'm glad I went through that. I learned these things from my stint eating like a rabbit for a three years in the late 1990s:

1 - Jokes made by meat eaters toward vegetarians are universally annoying and cliché. End of story. We've all heard the fucking "People for Eating Tasty Animals" joke twenty hundred times. It was funny exactly once ... in 1985. Now, I have no qualms about eating anything that walks on two or more legs, but those jokes still irk me; it's like hearing someone make a "not joke" (see Borat movie). Have a sense of tact around vegetarians and be the fuck quiet.

2 - Vegetarianism means hunger. There's a reason why most of my ESL students and anyone from the Third World was shocked at my non-meat-eating habits. If you make more than $6.00 per hour, why would you choose not to eat meat?---in essence, deciding that you want to go hungry. When you're veggie you never feel full, no matter how hard you try.

3 - Human biology is not built to fully digest vegetables. Most intelligent people don't know that---and vegetarian propaganda has something to do with it---but humans are able to digest almost 100% of meat; on the other hand, the body cannot break down most of what's in vegetables---hence, the reason vegetarians always feel hungry.

And now my favorite meats are bacon and steak. Vegetarianism is a phase that most progressive-thinking people go through in their twenties and it's an important part of our development. It's also important to give it up. Those who don't, end up missing out on the simple pleasures of life, and subject to lifelong narrow-mindedness.