Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

God Damn, men are ugly beasts.

As a straight man, you've probably had this fleeting thought time and again: how could any human be attracted to a human male? I won't bore you with a tired list of male disgustingisms, but you know what I'm talking about. Even male models in Vanity Fair have bodily features that remind you of a camel's knee or a midget's arm pit. It wouldn't be a stretch to imagine that model on the floor wearing a clown costume, being beaten by you and your friends wearing boots of leather-covered steel.

On the other hand, women---and the way they move, mostly---are captivating, deserving of gawkery in its crassest form. It crosses all three genders. I won't bore you with a tired list of female wonderfulisms, but I will say this: if there were no social mores or folkways, 90% of the men you know (yes, even the shy hipster guy who works at the video store) would opt to line all his female friends up, bend them over a guard rail---slobber rolling down his chin---and put it where god (or the devil) drives him to put it.

Don't believe me? Then I assume you're also the kind of person who thinks there shouldn't be a wall between the US and Mexico (or DC and Virginia, for that matter).

yea. Women are just wonderful .... to look at ;) a woman I understand this bc even I find women very sexy as a whole BUT men can be gorgeous.

There are a few that were put on this planet JUST for gawkery for us may not get it but here are some that are more beautiful than most FEMALE models:

Jude Law
Johnny Depp
Josh Holloway
Jared Leto
Raul Bava

Look em up. You'll see.
You men always say this about yourselves. Kassy is right. The men don't even have to be models or actors. Women can wax rhapsodic over men's ears and the backs of their necks (oh, yes,) and how they look in blue jeans, that wonderful line of hair to the treasures, and that muscular pelvic "v."

Here's my wife's list:

Jude Law
Johnny Depp
Lonnie Bruner
Josh Holloway
Jared Leto
Raul Bava
Danny Devito
John Lurie
You don't find midgets' armpits attractive?
Stop lying LB! You know my list. Let me refresh your defective, testosterone-addled memory.
1. Sacha Baron Cohen
2. Jamie Foxx
3. Mark Ruffalo
4. Stephen Colbert
5. Jack White

- Mrs. LB
Oh wait, scratch Mark Ruffalo. He's v. cute but I replaced him with Peter Saarsgard.
- Mrs. LB
That's funny, Johnny Depp is on my list too, but only if he's dressed as Ed Wood.

And there shouldn't be a wall between the US and Mexico, unless that wall happens to be built north of Texas.

That could be one of the best points made on this blog.

And what about a wall b/t DC and Arlington?
as a woman my self,i find it hard to find a good looking man in a sea of ugly smelly dirty shameless men. my boyfriends hot and gets a lot of looks from other women, but my boyfriend crossed the line one day and punched me in the face. i left and went to a nightclub to meet other guys and every guy in that club was sooo ugly and bald and with shit breath. i went running back to my boyfriend. women are beautiful because we make an effort to look good. we diet and shower every day and go as far as to get dangerous plastic surgery. and no pressure on the guys to look good or have manners. i hate to say it but if your ugly your f##ked!
Men are ugly because women choose to marry men for being rich rather than being attractive, and have ugly children as a result. This has been going on for thousands of years and there aren't many good-looking male genes left in the human genome. For a man, being good-looking doesn't necessarily translate into social dominance - a powerful, resonant voice and an aggressive extroverted personality are more likely to get you the wealth and social status needed to land hot girls. (Of course, the most sure-fire route to success is simply to have a rich dad.)

If women want more good-looking men in the world, then I suggest they start mating with good-looking men and having good-looking babies, and leave ugly men with trust funds alone.
men are mostly ugly and the older they get the uglier they get. you go bald and fat and sweaty. The funny thing is you all think you still have it and swagger around drinking beer and thinking youre handsome. well you are so not. keep your little widdlers in your smelly baggy shitty backed drawers. stop gawpin at women who would never give u a first glance and stick to giving yourself pleasure then making yourself a sandwich with your filthy fishy smelling hands.
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