Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

I've been hesitating writing this post for a week, but now that so many people have weighed in, I should slap down my two cents.

Some disclaimers: I have not seen Brokeback Mountain, nor do I plan to, for reasons I'm about to explain. I'm not a homophobe, if you define that term as someone who's afraid of, or dislikes homosexual people and culture. I have gay friends ... ok, just two, but friends nonetheless. I have no problem with gay-themed TV shows or movies and I think it's wonderful that gay people can openly be gay by holding hands in public and whatnot. And it's a shame that they can't get married like the rest of us. But as a lover of the outdoors, I take issue with this movie.

Brokeback Mountain furthers the shit idea that when men hang out with other men in an outdoor context, there are homosexual implications. This is an idea that did not exist as recent as 20 years ago. Not to sentimentalize the past too much, but it was once thought to be very normal and essential for a man's proper development to venture into the woods outside of a woman's presence, and no man-on-man sex jokes were ever uttered. I firmly believe that's still true and important today.

Regardless of its artistic merits, this is a movie about two young men who go into the wilderness and fall in love. The subtext is that this is just what any two men would do in the woods. It's the spooge-swirled icing on the top of a 20 year shit cake of feminized cultural changes. Will I ever be able to take my yearly sailing-trip-with-the-guys without hearing some inane joke about blowjobs or frigging in the rigging? Not any time soon, thanks to this movie.

Every now and again, men need outdoor time together sans women. Too much hanging out with the ladies turns a man's balls into soft truffles and sets his mind to superficial wanderings. In the outdoors with other guys, the primordial re-emerges and he can feel honest and real. As Thoreau said, "Men go back to the mountains, as they go back to sailing ships at sea, because in the mountains and on the sea they must face up." When Thoreau wrote that, no gay jokes were ever directed his way, I assure you.