Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

Last week was the first time I've caught a fish so big that it required a gun to subdue it and bring onboard.

Last week was the first time I've boated through an actual fjord, seeing wild orcas jumping and humpback whales showing their dorsals fins, between snow-capped mountains.

And last week was the first time I've held a Smith & Wesson .50 caliber handgun.

Bringing a halibut that's over 50 pounds onto a boat through 200 feet of water makes me wish I'd spent more time in the gym working my biceps and forearms. God damn, you can't imagine just trying to pull even the four-pound weight through 200 feet of water -- much less a 56 pound halibut (pictured above).

Going to Alaska, prepare for the worst, and expect the best. I brought all kinds of cold weather gear -- expecting not to need it -- and used it all. Catching halibut requires standing holding a heavy rod and steely Penn reel on a boat for hours while getting rained on and the boat rolls and pitches, weeding out all non-hackers (there were a few) who turned pukey gray-green.

In Alaska, the limit for halibut is two per person per day and we met that limit all three days we fished. I came home with 85 pounds of halibut fillet in big wax-coated cardboard boxes that I checked as luggage.

This state was the only place I've been where pretty girls gut and fillet big fish faster and better than 99% of the men in the northeast USA. (Come to think of it, how many men do you know who have gut a fish even once?)

There were a bunch of union reps at our lodge. One of them brought a .50 caliber pistol to protect against bears while fly-fishing. And this is -- in case you know nearly nothing about guns -- the most bad-ass handgun ever created by humankind:



Me, in front of a bona fide glacier. We could hear it calving, which sounds like canon fire:



The crabbing boat Time Bandit had a tourist shop selling trinkets in Homer. Out front was one of the crab pots from Deadliest Catch, the TV show:



Said pretty girl, gutting our fish:



The smaller halibut I caught (larger one above):