Talkin' Shit About A Pretty Sunset

If you aren't used to snorting shit up your nose, inhaling saltwater through your nostrils may sound insane. It's not. When you're stricken with a hellish sinus infection or head cold, nothing cures it as quickly as the burning feeling of submerging your nose in a bowl and sucking brine 'til it gushes down through the back of your mouth.

Still interested? Ok, here's the procedure. Take a bowl filled with tap water. Don't be conservative with the salt; one tablespoon will NOT do. Pour salt from the Morton's container 'til the girl with the umbrella gets embarrassed. Then brace yourself for what's to come. The trick is to do it quick; breathe out, close your mouth, dunk your nose completely under the water and breathe in through your mucus-filled nostrils without thinking twice. Oh, make sure you have a paper towel handy. When you come up for air you'll feel like a boogie-boarding kid at the beach after a massive wave toppled him tits-over-asshole, and you'll need to clean yourself up. The inside of your head should be on fire, but don't worry---the pain will subside in a few minutes and your head cold or sinus infection will be gone in 12 hours.

I spoke to my dad about snorting saltwater, and he told me that's the only thing my grandmother ever did to get rid of a cold.

I guess it runs in the family.