Latest
- Fuck Pennies: They're Worthless Pieces of Currency
- Things are GOOD now, and they're only getting bett...
- Bloggers are "Preposterous Pseudo-Authorities"
- The one time I vomited while kissing someone was t...
- Man vs. Sea No Longer Important?
- You Want "Huddled Masses"? How about 142,962 in 2005?
- I Was Once Cock-Blocked by Adam Eidinger
- For the benefit of humankind, I vow NOT to wear fl...
- Your 20% Tip is for Service *AND* Experience. Don'...
- Karaoke Saturday Night
Best of
Archives
- July 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- April 2005
- May 2005
- June 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- September 2008
- October 2008
- November 2008
- December 2008
- January 2009
- February 2009
- March 2009
- April 2009
- May 2009
- June 2009
- July 2009
- August 2009
- September 2009
- October 2009
- November 2009
- December 2009
- January 2010
- February 2010
- March 2010
- April 2010
- June 2010
- July 2010
- September 2010
- October 2010
- November 2010
- December 2010
- January 2011
- February 2011
- March 2011
- June 2011
- July 2011
- August 2011
- September 2011
- November 2011
- July 2012
- October 2012
Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Men: Pregnancy---Women: Sharks
I usually avoid trite commentary about the quirky differences between men and women, but let's suspend that rule for a moment. Below are two typical true life scenarios.
A man is told that his friend's wife is preggers. That night, he relates it to his wife: "Oh hey, Jason's wife is pregnant". He assumed (wrongly) that he got all the info he needed---that a mutual friend has a baby in her stomach. Think again, gentlemen. Men forget that it's crucial to find out 1) when the baby is due; 2) what it might be named; 3) something about "trimesters"---whatever that means; and 4) whether an "ultrasound" has been done. The details are key.
Conversely, this gender divide is similar to an email I got from my friend Rachel today:
I responded:
A man is told that his friend's wife is preggers. That night, he relates it to his wife: "Oh hey, Jason's wife is pregnant". He assumed (wrongly) that he got all the info he needed---that a mutual friend has a baby in her stomach. Think again, gentlemen. Men forget that it's crucial to find out 1) when the baby is due; 2) what it might be named; 3) something about "trimesters"---whatever that means; and 4) whether an "ultrasound" has been done. The details are key.
Conversely, this gender divide is similar to an email I got from my friend Rachel today:
hey lonnie-(Attachment):
My cousin Jamie from Richmond caught a shark. Thought you might be
interested in the photo...
R
I responded:
HOLY SHIT. where was it caught? what was he using for bait? how many pounds? How long did it take to fight? details, rachel, details - lbTo illustrate my point, I provide you with her response:
sorry lonnie I don't know the details... looks like it was just off the
beach. I don't really talk to my cousin so i don't have his email.
R
Comments:
<< Home
That is very true. As an expecting dad, it goes like this.
Wife is preggers.
Dec. 5
oh bout ten weeks.
yeah we'll find out - I'll let you know.
Thanks, that means a lot.
If you don't spit out the above information instantly after each question then you get frowns. And you must smile.
Wife is preggers.
Dec. 5
oh bout ten weeks.
yeah we'll find out - I'll let you know.
Thanks, that means a lot.
If you don't spit out the above information instantly after each question then you get frowns. And you must smile.
There's also the parents v. nonparents line. I spoke to my (at the time) manager right after she had a baby, the other women in the office wanted to know if she was breastfeeding, and if so, how it was going.
Dude, I'm a woman and there is no way in hell I would ask her that (and I certainly didn't even think of it!)
Dude, I'm a woman and there is no way in hell I would ask her that (and I certainly didn't even think of it!)
Let me just clarify a biological fact-- babies don't actually grow in the woman's stomach. Technically, there's this thing called a "uterus" where the baby lives. Little known fact!
# posted by 
: 11:15 AM
: 11:15 AM
Too true, too true. I have been caught on the "oh, yeah, couple x are expecting a baby" enough times that now I know I need to get a little more info than simple pregnant/not pregnant...
Except in the case where the thought of the couple making the baby is enough to make us want to stop talking or thinking about it.
Except in the case where the thought of the couple making the baby is enough to make us want to stop talking or thinking about it.
What kind of bait do you think it would take to snag a baby, HP? Shiny rattling objects? A fake nipple? Cash?
UPDATE! Rachel responds with a forwarded email from her cousin (the smiling guy in the picture):
"It's a Sand Tiger Shark measuring 8'9" and weighing somewhere between 300-400lbs.
I caught on the beach at Cape Point which is the state park around the
Hatteras Lighthouse. I fished with some local-yokals that I know as
well as some other tourists like myself. We used a Kayak to paddle
the baits out 400 yds to the outer sand bar and drop them in the deep
water. That way you care camped out on the beach with your rod, but
the bait is way out in the briney deep. I used a whole bluefish sans
tail which was about 12" long I suppose. He was not to happy about
it."
"It's a Sand Tiger Shark measuring 8'9" and weighing somewhere between 300-400lbs.
I caught on the beach at Cape Point which is the state park around the
Hatteras Lighthouse. I fished with some local-yokals that I know as
well as some other tourists like myself. We used a Kayak to paddle
the baits out 400 yds to the outer sand bar and drop them in the deep
water. That way you care camped out on the beach with your rod, but
the bait is way out in the briney deep. I used a whole bluefish sans
tail which was about 12" long I suppose. He was not to happy about
it."
Red Storm - Nipples. babies love 'em, women gots 'em. And you should probably chum with breast milk and baby food.
I took that headline to mean that men are as afraid of pregnancy as women are of sharks...John doesn't like to swim, does that mean he'll knock me up someday? If I give birth to a shark, do I have to keep it? It's quarter after two, maybe I should just get drunk.
Post a Comment
# posted by : 2:18 PM
: 2:18 PM<< Home
Web Counters