Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Few Things Sicken Me Like the Smell of a Stranger's Cologne

Am I alone in holding my breath when I see some dude walking toward me with a light blue buttoned-down shirt tucked into khaki pants?

Am I alone in breathing outward when I see a dolled-up floozy with fake tits and crispy teased hair walking toward me?

Am I the only one who can taste the gag-inducing cologne wafting off frat boys?

And am I alone in clenching my teeth and straining my lungs whenever a gaggle of NoVA sparkle fatties swish by me on my way home?

I hope not.

On most occasions, I hold my breath---lips and nose shut off to the world---when someone's appearance indicates that they're also nasally offensive.

Their smells are not similar to other disgusting things (dog shit, bad breath, New Jersey) but it's the combination of someone you don't know and the smell that you think that they're towing.

I hope this doesn't mean I hate people.
I hate bad body odor or bad cologne too. It always gives me a huge headeache and I had a situation on the metro that I posted about just the other day...
Dryer sheets and soap are the only thing I want to smell from a woman.
You know, I hear you -- but if the experience is breif, I just find it fascinating. I always visualize the waves of aroma curling through the air behind someone on the street. Sometimes a lady will smell _good_, and I think about what that fragrance is, how much of it is her, and marvel at how we broadcast so much by doing so little.
Ode to Maturity by Lord Daniel Chelly-Ladbourne

I don’t wish to whiff
The decrepit old quiff
Of a paramour long past retreading

Or the rubbery gap
At the back of her lap
As she snores in her moldering bedding.

I prefer to aver
The correctness of myrrh
And anoint at each point until scented

And then mount thereupon
With my well-tempered dong
As of all other smells I repented.

That is just wonderful. Wonderful, I tells ya.

Thank you.
You're right. It's you. JOKING!
"NoVA sparkle fatties"

nice. :-)
I hope you never go to Paris.
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