Blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Everyone Gets a Free Pass to Sleep with Five Celebrities

On Saturday, I played the game Zobmondo with a group of friends. During one part of the game, each player wrote the five celebrities that they would sleep with if given the chance. These were all written on little scraps of paper scattered all over my living room so I kept a few. Below are the results.

Player #1:
- Any of the girls from the Wedding Singer
- Jessica Simpson
- Kirsten Dunst
- The girl on 24
- (illegible)

Player #2:
- Jeannette Lee
- Martina Hingis
- Mila Kuns
- Rachael Ray
- Elin Words

Player #3 (my wife):
- Hamid Karzai (president of Afganistan)
- Beck
- Mark Ruffalo
- Martin O'Malley (Mayor of Baltimore)
- Gil Grissom
- Stephen Colbert

Player #4:
- Angelina Jolie
- Halle Barry
- Scarlett Johansson
- Kate Winslett
- Madonna

Player # 5 (me):
- Scarlett Johansson
- Parker Posey
- Heather Graham
- Maggie Gyllenhall
- Angelina Jolie

Should I be worried about my wife's choices? What's with the attraction to political leaders? Also, for those who played, I couldn't read all of your scribblings so I may have some of the names mis-spelled.
No you worry. Women are attracted to men with power/money like men are attracted to women who have, well, a peachfish.

Why did your wife get six picks?

I would need some time to come up with my own list, but I could lead with:
Pocahontas (neil young joke)
Lucy Liu
She's the wife. She can do what she wants.
I didn't say I wanted to SLEEP with Angelina Jolie, I said I wanted to wear a suit of her flesh. Totally different.
Wedding CRASHERS, not Wedding Singer. I ain't into no Drew Barrymore. More like this. Yum.
EW! Jimmy, those women look like they'd be in a lingerie catalog hanging on the wall of a junkyard office in Nascarbudweiser, Kentucky. Also, beware of this. I'm just saying.
Ricky Gervais, I forgot Ricky Gervais. Add that to my Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Pruitt Taylor Vince, David Thomas from Pere Ubu, and Frank Black lovepile. But know that I take time out of my regular diet of fantasy chubby-chasing to consider the hotness of Mark Ruffalo. Then I go back to the fat men.
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